he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
