my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
