ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
