How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
