She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
