tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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