I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
being pregnant is like rehab
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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