I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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