why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
