With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
