I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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