I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
