is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
