I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
