I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
