i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize