That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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