You just made me feel so damn special
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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