i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I don't think brook has ever known best
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
