I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
