At least make sure they are 18
Why
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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