Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize