whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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