forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
