I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
