You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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