im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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