I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
