i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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