Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
