I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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