i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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