**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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