I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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