So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
