I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
