so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
