he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
