the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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