honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
