I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
