I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
