Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
