is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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