o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
