I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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