that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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