I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
