i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
