so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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