I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize