You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
