38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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