I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
