Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize