I heard we made out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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