My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
