What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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