I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
