if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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